Hi fam! Thank you for coming back on The Blog!
So today, let's talk about the boss of all emotions, the one we were all waiting for those last 4 weeks, the unique and absolutely amazing: JOY!!! (I hope you do applause her coz she can be susceptible).
Joy is a funny one. She is the ultimate aim. There is like a pursuit of happiness race going on out there. I was watching this After Skool video about social media. It is a great summary of the impact of social media on mental health. Until 2016, I only had Facebook. I have been using Instagram for about 2 years now and I must admit it is the most challenging social media to mentally fight back.
What threatens your Joy?
I follow pages about self-development mainly but also travels and books. Even though my feed is not about Kardashian, etc; I do get into the struggle of COMPARISON. I thought about leaving IG many times. Asking myself: Is it right for me to invite people to follow me on IG when this platform facilitates so much story making? When this platform is such a threat to my Joy?
And then I remembered something my dad asked me : "If Jesus came back as a human being nowadays how do you think he would share his message?" Well, I like to think that Jesus is a smart guy, so I think he would look at where people gather? Where he could reach the most significant audience? The answer would most probably be Social Media. And then he would become the ultimate influencer and change the world! #dreambig
Consequently, I am not saying I want to be Jesus or anything like that but that everything has a positive and negative side. Instead of letting my Joy being constantly threaten by Social Media, I use Social Media as a health check.
My Ego will always challenge me on IG and I listen to what it says, and I check on:
Does it hurt?
If so, where does it hurt?
Because where there is pain, there is unfinished healing business!
Finding the courage to face the threats to your Joy?
Joy is the pillar of all emotions. With Joy, we build our structure, the legs on which we can put our weigh to make it forward. Joy is the motor of our life. There is an article I recommend (also available on my Mental Health Toolbox): Finding courage.
"In one way or another, a good life is a product of action. Courage is the fuel that produces it."
We love to think that someone else can fight our fights: this is self-sabotage.
I am responsible for my Joy
You are responsible for your Joy
I have a duty to identify the threats to my Joy
You have a duty to identify the threats to your Joy
Some things cannot be delegated. We cannot delegate our life to someone else. Bear in mind that all other emotions as much as they can facilitate the presence of Joy... They can also plot to have her locked in a cave somewhere...
Anger can make us blind. See Red everywhere, not forgive, not listen, shut ourselves from any chance of empathy, compassion, ...
Fear can dominate Sadness and tell her that no one wants to help her anyway. In such a case, Sadness will just take care of us, trusting that Fear has our best interest at heart. We would just stay in bed, eat banana bread and cry while watching the Handmaid's tale.
Even though the other emotions can plot against her (and do plot against her), Joy is extremely strong, she can raise from the ashes over and over again. She never dies. She is Fire itself. Her power can burn any wood if only we have the courage to crack the match!
Let's summarize for a second here:
The ultimate aim is Joy and the way to attain Joy is to use Joy
By the way the Red Table Talk is just an amazing program (on Facebook)
OK let me make an analogy with something all of us will understand: Joy is Food.
As much as you need to eat every single day, you need Joy. Being hungry can be associated with being hurt, suffering mentally. What do you feed yourself to stop the hunger?
Going back to the episode where I emptied my water bottle on someone because she made me angry (How to manage Anger?), I had to look back to understand how I could prevent this from happening again. By engaging in this self-reflection, I put in place a process to ensure stability in my Joy.
Going back to the episode where I was sexually abuse (How to manage Sadness?) and kept leaving in fear of it happening again, I had to look back and understand why did I think this would happen again? This thought only, was preventing me from sharing joyful moments with my husband, my friends, myself. By engaging in therapy I put in place a process to ensure stability in my Joy.
What makes you hungry and how can you nourish this until it is fed and contempt?
What threatens your joy and what action can you put in place to manage this threat and make it disappear?
This is where you need to put your super hero suit on and slay the s*** out of those threats!
"Hands that act are better than praying lips"
How to find the courage?
Well here I will share how I do it:
I share my stories and when people tell me that it has been helpful for them, it creates Joy in my heart to know that sharing is caring. That we are all connected, and we can bring healing to each other
I follow positive influencers on IG (@i_weigh, @Redtabletalk, @Jayshetty, @jadapinkettsmith, @jamilajamilofficial, etc)
I watch the Red Table Talk
I talk to my friends about my pains and hurts and I ask for help
I support my friends through their pains and hurts and provide my help
When something bothers me, I look into the mirror and I try to dig deeper to understand what is the source of this (I will write an article about the Mirror work because it is not easy to explain here)
Those tools are the main ones I use. There is another set of tools... And here I will repeat myself, but I have read somewhere that when you want a message to come across loud and clear, you have to "Repeat, repeat, repeat".
So here I go, if you haven't already (and maybe even if you have), take 5 min to read about the power of Attention. Patience. Practice.
I hope you enjoyed this article, if it helped you please share so it can help more people and subscribe to never miss it again!
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Sawubonasana is a space where you can be yourself, recognized and loved just the way you are. Sawubona means "I see you and by seeing you I bring you into being", Asana means posture, way of living. I've chosen this name for my website because I want to live a life where I see you, I acknowledge your existence and love your uniqueness. In this space you can love yourself, lick your wounds and heal them with love and compassion. You can book a coaching session with me by clicking here.